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pen play sessions 2/10/17

@サントラノート: mozart composition/choir arrangement for image song to amplify second inciting incident within second act scene ("maddy dreams"): sequentia VI lacrimosa dies illa. orchestral/vocal reprise need be absolutely necessary for last act crescendo ("maddy believes") and knotted with visual cues (see: notes on scenes "revelations" and "the ballroom").

feel up, fuck, and flay the audience whole by the reprise and warm their spinal fluid to a boil. that vanilla scented sensation in the throat (remember electric 2008 wonderment) put them on your time. actress' time. the camera's time. reveal. crescendo. end. they want to watch it again. technical goal: elevate the previous scenes and story to be desirable puzzle pieces to be watched again. the score too important and the requiem illuminated petrol to swallow their souls. let's get ravey, baby.</p>

(exterior - day) joshua tree national park establishing shots(?). sunrise, plateau overlook, LSD standstill emboldening a calm (color saturation in post) as if the audience knows the taste of an opiate high in their own throats, and make an interstellar aesthetic leap to next (interior - night). explore. traverse. transdimensional. come home. at the very end: don't.

elements of "i. want. outrage." original screenplay visuals adopted (maddy sees her own body make crucifixion pose, head tilted upward, stumbling backward as if inhumanly possessed, et al.) for "maddy dreams" interlude as connective tissue between acts II and III. establishing shots worked into roulette concept on their own (cut-up literature) to be symbolized as an infinite whole. work through maddy's arc. flesh her out. it's up to me. my fiction is flesh and belongs to my very being. nurture and nourish. future and flourish. only i can save her now.

chara 2 (alexa) keywords: oxycontins in the car, 16 years old, broken social scene, varsity, johnny's 事務所, evangelion posters, UK 2-step, lain, sold to be become a patagonian voladora, upstate NY accent, budgies in bedroom, mildly bleed out the hues of solid darker colors in her shots (an inherent will to reach any another), west coast catholic cathedral (see scene: "maddy dances"). she'll be lost off-screen and away. it'll hurt. make it hurt.

kikupup is signaling me with her kittyheart searchlight that it's that time to fall asleeps so i can wake early and enjoy the most of the day without my sister in the house for the weekendish (yay).

asus emailed me in the early morning a day before that they will offer me a replacement laptop as they cannot do so nor have replacement parts for the model i sent them, and upon looking it up i realized the one they offered is a better gaming laptop with better specs. as my laptop was fucking amazing w/ HD display, 8gb onboard memory, HDD space (1TB), and nvidia 950m 2gb card, i can only be a little excited and hopeful they will ship out the new model very soon. they said up to 2-3 days at the most, plus they're in milpitas, but i hope it's tomorrow + i won't have to wait long when they do mail it out. that's welcomed news, right? will update and let you know. i need my space and i've made a forever ever vow to never bring my laptop anywhere to anyone. this is the second time i've fucked up what i had by bringing it elsewhere and it won't happen anymore. this last time, i just wanted to bring it because my friend in pacific heights couldn't exactly open .fdx files on her rig and i was excited to make my way to her neighborhood. a time before that, i actually broke it at james' house a couple years ago when i was with sua, but i completely and entirely blacked out and have zero memory of anything that happened that night. thank the fucking liquid monster benzo from the internet + vodka + ××××× that sua gave me and we were doing together. i have no memory of that night at all but i know i woke up with a broken laptop. fuck me. lesson learned! i also woke up freaked out because sua was gone, my debit card was taken, a few hundred dollars on it withdrawn, and james realized that his car was gone and it was eventually returned by her and james' roommate all fucked up because they got in an accident on the way. i don't want to remember any more of that day. just, fuck me.

i received a letter in the mail that informs me that i'm good to go to see a referred neurologist near here that i posted on instagram there's also a video i took on my mobile of momo and marley engorging on their special kitty food as they strictly eat twice per day. hungry hungry babbies. anyway, with my medical history, it's a given that i'll have to repeat the unpleasant experience of EEG/CT/MRI clockwork orange play, but i'd feel better if it was taken care of sooner than later as both my parents will express their "worry" for me as if i'm somehow creating a problem for them?... that's how either of them put it. typical, i guess. i have zero support anywhere. everyone else only knows me as a meek valley boy heartquake or drunken party toy to take. my family knows me as easy to beat up swollen and left to my bruises in isolation sullen.

wish me be pure for the next day and after to be told there exists a cure. for her. for me. a lonely disease that these doctors can't treat. i wasn't feeling much inspiration but it's likely owed to not feeling much of anything more than usual, so i don't want to try and pour and more. i haven't indulged a cigarette since i began reassembling words together in here so i must take care of that, do a couple sets of crunches, pour myself a last cup of hot milk peach tea, make my way to the living room to kiss momo a time or two, and drift to sleep cradling kikupuff as she's curled on me. kitty therapy. shout out to calcal.

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